So...we are having another boy!! Danny and I couldn't be more excited, and more blessed. We have since decided to name our new little son Seth Tobin Steinhaus. "Seth" means "appointed" or "appointed by God" and holds special meaning as it was the name of the son given to Adam and Eve after Cain killed Abel. "Tobin" means "God is good" or "God is gracious", which is the testimony of this child, after seeing the Lord's incredible work this year through Jace. So almost two years of marriage has given us two sons...Jace and Seth. Through all the trials of this past year, the Lord has brought us through it with abundant blessings.
Danny and I often talk about how neat it will be to tell little Seth about his older brother, Jace. At a very young age, Seth will be able to see that life is not easy, but that God is still always incredibly good. He will look at pictures of his brother and we can tell him that blessings come out of brokenness.
We have really been able to enjoy this pregnancy. Putting together our baby registry has been a blast. Seth reminds me of his existence constantly each day as he grows stronger...proving to be quite an opinionated little boy with all of his kicks and punches. Seth, we can't wait for you to get here!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Yet another long stretch of time has gone by, and little writing has been done on my part. To be truthful, for some reason I found it easier to blog when our little Jace was here. Since he left us, it's been hard for me to form words on paper. However, God has indeed given us another little blessing to write about...the purpose of this new posting.
This Monday, October 27th, we found out that Jace is going to have a little brother!! Our new son is due next March 28th, 2009. How amazing, and certainly not coincidental, that our second son is due exactly one day before Jace was due this year. I know that, along with so many other things, God is using the timing of this pregnancy, as well as the reality of another son, to show us His faithfulness amidst sorrow. Again and again with this second pregnancy, both Danny and I are reminded that "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away," and that even though God took our first son to be with Him, He has given us another son, strong and healthy, to comfort us in our sorrow.
A few months after Jace died, I was praying and driving at the same time. Looking up, I saw the most beautiful rainbow in front of me. I remember distinctly hearing the Lord say to me, "This is my promise to you, my child, just as I made a promise to Noah, that I will never take another child from you." Amidst tears, I told the Lord that I didn't deserve His goodness, and He replied to me that "also just as I blessed Job twofold after taking away everything he had, so will I also bless you and Danny twofold after taking your first son away." I know that God is faithful to His promises. I have seen this over and over again. So I need not fear about losing another child, and as to the years ahead...I know the Lord's hand is on them!
But back to Monday and the ultrasound of our new son. We ended up going in to see Dr. Hare, the specialist who delivered Jace, to perform the ultrasound. Although I am going back to my original OBGYN for this pregnancy, Dr. Mata recommended that we have Dr. Hare do our ultrasound, just to make sure everything was okay. Although Danny and I were reluctant to go back to Dr. Hare because of so many bad associations and memories, we conceded and made the appointment with her. This past Monday rolled around and both Danny and I were nervous, actually, I was scared to death. Doubts and fears poured into my mind, as I prayed for a healthy baby. I knew the Lord had promised us the health of this child, but once again, I gave way to fear. The ultrasound went wonderfully. Dr. Hare was relaxed and friendly; after scanning the baby she said, "I want to tell you first off that the baby looks healthy and normal." We breathed a sigh of relief, and once again, I asked the Lord's forgiveness for doubting Him. Dr. Hare proceeded to show us that we were having another son, and that everything looked great. He's a big baby, this time around, and very active. Already I can feel him moving quite often. We are going back in for a follow-up ultrasound on December 18th. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to us once again, and praise His name for this new child.
Danny and I are excited, and I believe, humbled, as we look towards March and the birth of our little one. We have learned, amidst so many other lessons, to appreciate everything given to us. I hope that we do not take this child for granted. Our desire is to cherish every moment...and to make the most of the time we are given.
Thank you all for your prayers! I hope to see many of you at the upcoming baby shower next year (date and time have not yet been decided.) :)
This Monday, October 27th, we found out that Jace is going to have a little brother!! Our new son is due next March 28th, 2009. How amazing, and certainly not coincidental, that our second son is due exactly one day before Jace was due this year. I know that, along with so many other things, God is using the timing of this pregnancy, as well as the reality of another son, to show us His faithfulness amidst sorrow. Again and again with this second pregnancy, both Danny and I are reminded that "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away," and that even though God took our first son to be with Him, He has given us another son, strong and healthy, to comfort us in our sorrow.
A few months after Jace died, I was praying and driving at the same time. Looking up, I saw the most beautiful rainbow in front of me. I remember distinctly hearing the Lord say to me, "This is my promise to you, my child, just as I made a promise to Noah, that I will never take another child from you." Amidst tears, I told the Lord that I didn't deserve His goodness, and He replied to me that "also just as I blessed Job twofold after taking away everything he had, so will I also bless you and Danny twofold after taking your first son away." I know that God is faithful to His promises. I have seen this over and over again. So I need not fear about losing another child, and as to the years ahead...I know the Lord's hand is on them!
But back to Monday and the ultrasound of our new son. We ended up going in to see Dr. Hare, the specialist who delivered Jace, to perform the ultrasound. Although I am going back to my original OBGYN for this pregnancy, Dr. Mata recommended that we have Dr. Hare do our ultrasound, just to make sure everything was okay. Although Danny and I were reluctant to go back to Dr. Hare because of so many bad associations and memories, we conceded and made the appointment with her. This past Monday rolled around and both Danny and I were nervous, actually, I was scared to death. Doubts and fears poured into my mind, as I prayed for a healthy baby. I knew the Lord had promised us the health of this child, but once again, I gave way to fear. The ultrasound went wonderfully. Dr. Hare was relaxed and friendly; after scanning the baby she said, "I want to tell you first off that the baby looks healthy and normal." We breathed a sigh of relief, and once again, I asked the Lord's forgiveness for doubting Him. Dr. Hare proceeded to show us that we were having another son, and that everything looked great. He's a big baby, this time around, and very active. Already I can feel him moving quite often. We are going back in for a follow-up ultrasound on December 18th. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to us once again, and praise His name for this new child.
Danny and I are excited, and I believe, humbled, as we look towards March and the birth of our little one. We have learned, amidst so many other lessons, to appreciate everything given to us. I hope that we do not take this child for granted. Our desire is to cherish every moment...and to make the most of the time we are given.
Thank you all for your prayers! I hope to see many of you at the upcoming baby shower next year (date and time have not yet been decided.) :)
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
You all have potentially given up reading this blog, as my posting as of late has been almost non-existent. Except for the usual business of life, there really is nothing keeping me from posting...honestly, I think the fact that my Jace is no longer with me keeps me away from typing at times, because when I started this blog page he was still here.
God is so incredibly faithful! Through this whole journey He has never ceased to reveal to us His presence, His love, and His sustaining grace. My heart still aches for my little man Jace, but with the ache is also a contentment and an understanding. I know he is in such a better place, and I also know that this whole circumstance has been for the glory of our Lord as well as for our growth as His people. I no longer ask why because I know why. I can see the work the Lord continues to do through little Jace. If I ever doubted that the Lord works all things for good for those who love Him, I can certainly not doubt it now. Although I miss my baby, I wouldn't trade this experience...I am a new person, and my perspective on life and on my relationship with my Creator has done a complete 180. I realize now so clearly what it means to "take up my cross and follow the Lord." It's not meant to be easy...but it is meant to be filled with grace and love, no matter how hard we fall or how much we bleed in the process. The pain in this life only makes the glory of heaven more desirable. Jace...how blessed you are my little son to be missing this life for the constant presence and glory of the Lord!!
The real purpose of this blog entry today is to tell you all a story that has been a long time coming. As you might or might not know, I am almost ten weeks pregnant with our second little blessing. Yes, you might cry, as I do almost every day, realizing once again how amazing our God is. Perhaps the story of this second pregnancy will increase your faith almost as much as it has increased that of myself and my husband.
Two weeks before Jace died, I was praying about more children, simply asking the Lord whether or not He was going to bless us again. I felt very clearly the Lord tell me that I would get pregnant again soon after Jace died. At the time, of course, this was almost a devastating answer, because I didn't want to say goodbye to my little man. Well, early in July I started to have slight pregnancy symptoms. Towards the middle of the month I decided to take a pregnancy test. I remember very clearly looking at the test, comprehending that it was negative, and asking God why. All of a sudden, I heard His very clear response: "Would you still believe that you are pregnant even with a negative pregnancy test? Would you completely rely on my promise to you instead of trying to rely on man-made mechanisms?" My response, of course, to my Lord, was, "no, I need proof with a pregnancy test." So a few days later I took another test with the same negative result, again hearing the Lord tell me that the test would not be positive as He wanted me to believe that I was pregnant without it.
Completely torn up, I spent several days struggling with the Lord, demanding proof, and failing to get any. To top it off, every devotional that I read for that entire week talked of faith and how true faith is relying on God's faithfulness and promises even when everything points against it. Finally, I gave up. "Okay Lord, I'm going to take this step of faith with you. I'm going to try to believe that I'm pregnant, even without a positive pregnancy test result." The very next day I woke up extremely nauseous, with all the pregnancy symptoms in full force. The Lord was certainly helping me out with my faith. A few days later my husband Danny told me that he really felt we needed to tell our families before we got a confirmation from a doctor. So we proceeded to take that step of faith, telling our families that we believed we were pregnant, even with a negative pregnancy test. After several long weeks of faith, and after telling numerous friends of the pregnancy, I finally got into a doctor last week. Yes, there on the ultrasound was a beautifully formed little baby...confirmation and "proof" in the medical sense of the term of God's faithfulness and love. I wish I could say that I will never doubt my Lord again, but I know my sinful heart. However, our faith has certainly grown through realizing that the Lord makes promises to His people that He never breaks. If we rely on these promises, we don't have to fear.
I pray that this story reveals to you the importance of listening to the guidance and direction of our Lord, as well as following His direction no matter what the cost. In risking seeming ridiculous to friends and family, Danny and I took a step of faith that ultimately has brought more glory to the Lord than if we had succumbed to fear and had decided not to tell anyone of our pregnancy until after we got medical "proof." Although it wasn't easy, and I cried and fought the whole time, I praise the Lord every day for glorifying His name already through the life of our new little one.
God is so incredibly faithful! Through this whole journey He has never ceased to reveal to us His presence, His love, and His sustaining grace. My heart still aches for my little man Jace, but with the ache is also a contentment and an understanding. I know he is in such a better place, and I also know that this whole circumstance has been for the glory of our Lord as well as for our growth as His people. I no longer ask why because I know why. I can see the work the Lord continues to do through little Jace. If I ever doubted that the Lord works all things for good for those who love Him, I can certainly not doubt it now. Although I miss my baby, I wouldn't trade this experience...I am a new person, and my perspective on life and on my relationship with my Creator has done a complete 180. I realize now so clearly what it means to "take up my cross and follow the Lord." It's not meant to be easy...but it is meant to be filled with grace and love, no matter how hard we fall or how much we bleed in the process. The pain in this life only makes the glory of heaven more desirable. Jace...how blessed you are my little son to be missing this life for the constant presence and glory of the Lord!!
The real purpose of this blog entry today is to tell you all a story that has been a long time coming. As you might or might not know, I am almost ten weeks pregnant with our second little blessing. Yes, you might cry, as I do almost every day, realizing once again how amazing our God is. Perhaps the story of this second pregnancy will increase your faith almost as much as it has increased that of myself and my husband.
Two weeks before Jace died, I was praying about more children, simply asking the Lord whether or not He was going to bless us again. I felt very clearly the Lord tell me that I would get pregnant again soon after Jace died. At the time, of course, this was almost a devastating answer, because I didn't want to say goodbye to my little man. Well, early in July I started to have slight pregnancy symptoms. Towards the middle of the month I decided to take a pregnancy test. I remember very clearly looking at the test, comprehending that it was negative, and asking God why. All of a sudden, I heard His very clear response: "Would you still believe that you are pregnant even with a negative pregnancy test? Would you completely rely on my promise to you instead of trying to rely on man-made mechanisms?" My response, of course, to my Lord, was, "no, I need proof with a pregnancy test." So a few days later I took another test with the same negative result, again hearing the Lord tell me that the test would not be positive as He wanted me to believe that I was pregnant without it.
Completely torn up, I spent several days struggling with the Lord, demanding proof, and failing to get any. To top it off, every devotional that I read for that entire week talked of faith and how true faith is relying on God's faithfulness and promises even when everything points against it. Finally, I gave up. "Okay Lord, I'm going to take this step of faith with you. I'm going to try to believe that I'm pregnant, even without a positive pregnancy test result." The very next day I woke up extremely nauseous, with all the pregnancy symptoms in full force. The Lord was certainly helping me out with my faith. A few days later my husband Danny told me that he really felt we needed to tell our families before we got a confirmation from a doctor. So we proceeded to take that step of faith, telling our families that we believed we were pregnant, even with a negative pregnancy test. After several long weeks of faith, and after telling numerous friends of the pregnancy, I finally got into a doctor last week. Yes, there on the ultrasound was a beautifully formed little baby...confirmation and "proof" in the medical sense of the term of God's faithfulness and love. I wish I could say that I will never doubt my Lord again, but I know my sinful heart. However, our faith has certainly grown through realizing that the Lord makes promises to His people that He never breaks. If we rely on these promises, we don't have to fear.
I pray that this story reveals to you the importance of listening to the guidance and direction of our Lord, as well as following His direction no matter what the cost. In risking seeming ridiculous to friends and family, Danny and I took a step of faith that ultimately has brought more glory to the Lord than if we had succumbed to fear and had decided not to tell anyone of our pregnancy until after we got medical "proof." Although it wasn't easy, and I cried and fought the whole time, I praise the Lord every day for glorifying His name already through the life of our new little one.
Monday, August 4, 2008
To all our dear readers and prayer warriors: I wanted to let you all know of an upcoming event that is being organized by my brother, Sean Hart, and my parents, Barry and Kathy Hart. The event is a Run/Walk on September 6, 2008. Not only will we be celebrating the life of Jace at this event, but we will also be supporting an organization called Living Alternatives, a Christian ministry that provides "alternatives" for women seeking help with unplanned pregnancies and possibly looking at abortion. To find out more about the race, as well as to register, please go to www.jacersracers.com. It would be so great to see you all there!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Reading in "Streams of the Desert" this morning, I came across a story in the devotional about the different types of faith, as demonstrated by 3 different women. The woman who showed the most faith got the least attention from God, but this is what God says about her:
"Yet the 3rd woman whom I seemed not to notice and even to neglect, has faith and love of the purest quality. I am training her through quick and drastic ways for the highest and holiest of services. She knows me so intimately and trusts in me so completely that she no longer depends on my voice, loving glances, or other outward appearances to know of my approval. She is not dismayed or discouraged by any circumstances I arrange for her to encounter. She trusts me when common sense, reason, and even every subtle instinct of the natural heart would rebel, knowing that I am preparing her for eternity and realizing that the understanding of what I do will come later. My love is silent because I love beyond the power of words to express it and beyond the understanding of the human heart. Also, My love is silent for your sakes--that you may learn to love and trust Me with pure, spirit-taught, spontaneous responses. I desire for your response to My love to be without the prompting of anything external."
Today is exactly one month from the day our little Jace said goodbye to us and hello to Jesus. This past month has been filled with grief, emptiness, loss, doubt, and yet even through all that, an understanding and knowledge of a deeper love than I had ever imagined. I might have and still be questioning God, but I am not left in any doubt of the purpose and plan God had in Jace's life and then also in his death. It has been and continues to be a harder journey than I ever imagined encountering. Even so, I know God has and continues to give me the strength to face every circumstance, no matter what, with joy and reliance on Him.
I am beginning to realize that our journey with Jace is not over, rather, it is only just beginning--the start of a journey of unknowns that is always preparing us for eternity. I know that I don't have the unquestioning and unwavering faith of the woman mentioned in the first part of this entry. However, I want to have that kind of faith and I know it will take God working on me to get it.
My heart still aches for my little Jace--I don't think the ache will ever go away. Danny and I both miss the baby voice filling the apartment. I know that the emptiness, as well as everything else, is in God's hands.
"Yet the 3rd woman whom I seemed not to notice and even to neglect, has faith and love of the purest quality. I am training her through quick and drastic ways for the highest and holiest of services. She knows me so intimately and trusts in me so completely that she no longer depends on my voice, loving glances, or other outward appearances to know of my approval. She is not dismayed or discouraged by any circumstances I arrange for her to encounter. She trusts me when common sense, reason, and even every subtle instinct of the natural heart would rebel, knowing that I am preparing her for eternity and realizing that the understanding of what I do will come later. My love is silent because I love beyond the power of words to express it and beyond the understanding of the human heart. Also, My love is silent for your sakes--that you may learn to love and trust Me with pure, spirit-taught, spontaneous responses. I desire for your response to My love to be without the prompting of anything external."
Today is exactly one month from the day our little Jace said goodbye to us and hello to Jesus. This past month has been filled with grief, emptiness, loss, doubt, and yet even through all that, an understanding and knowledge of a deeper love than I had ever imagined. I might have and still be questioning God, but I am not left in any doubt of the purpose and plan God had in Jace's life and then also in his death. It has been and continues to be a harder journey than I ever imagined encountering. Even so, I know God has and continues to give me the strength to face every circumstance, no matter what, with joy and reliance on Him.
I am beginning to realize that our journey with Jace is not over, rather, it is only just beginning--the start of a journey of unknowns that is always preparing us for eternity. I know that I don't have the unquestioning and unwavering faith of the woman mentioned in the first part of this entry. However, I want to have that kind of faith and I know it will take God working on me to get it.
My heart still aches for my little Jace--I don't think the ache will ever go away. Danny and I both miss the baby voice filling the apartment. I know that the emptiness, as well as everything else, is in God's hands.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Psalm 125:1- "Those who trust in the Lord are like Mt. Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever." I was reading in "Streams of the Desert" this morning and it talked of God bringing His people to a place of complete internal peace which cannot be shaken by anything life dishes out. Paul, for example, was told that he would face imprisonment and death, yet he was not shaken because God had brought him to a point where he counted his own life and possessions of no value compared to the will and glory of the Lord.
I am reminded of a statement Betsy Tenboom made to her sister, Corrie, in The Hiding Place: "There are no 'ifs' or 'buts' in God's world, Corrie--the safest place for us to be is in the center of His will." Betsy meant that only because God wills things to happen do they happen at all. No matter what is going on around us in life, we can trust that God has promised us an eternity with Him, no matter what happens to us here on earth. Every trial is bringing us just a little bit closer to Christ and to the glory of heaven. This realization is what can give us that internal peace which Paul experienced. What a beautiful gift we have been given: the prospect of an eternal glory praising our amazing Creator. Everything else in our future is unknown, but one thing is certain because God has promised it: an eternity with Him, spent in ceaseless praise and adoration of our Creator. Beautiful prospect!
Sometimes when I think of my little Jace I feel so joyful and thankful realizing that God chose to spare him a long life of cares here on earth. While my little man's short life here was a struggle, he is so soon getting to experience the fullness of the Lord in heaven. Thank You, Father, for such a gift. Even though it hurts so much to tell our little man goodbye so soon, our first son is experiencing what we have only to look forward to.
Psalm 46:1- "God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble, therefore we will not fear..."
I am reminded of a statement Betsy Tenboom made to her sister, Corrie, in The Hiding Place: "There are no 'ifs' or 'buts' in God's world, Corrie--the safest place for us to be is in the center of His will." Betsy meant that only because God wills things to happen do they happen at all. No matter what is going on around us in life, we can trust that God has promised us an eternity with Him, no matter what happens to us here on earth. Every trial is bringing us just a little bit closer to Christ and to the glory of heaven. This realization is what can give us that internal peace which Paul experienced. What a beautiful gift we have been given: the prospect of an eternal glory praising our amazing Creator. Everything else in our future is unknown, but one thing is certain because God has promised it: an eternity with Him, spent in ceaseless praise and adoration of our Creator. Beautiful prospect!
Sometimes when I think of my little Jace I feel so joyful and thankful realizing that God chose to spare him a long life of cares here on earth. While my little man's short life here was a struggle, he is so soon getting to experience the fullness of the Lord in heaven. Thank You, Father, for such a gift. Even though it hurts so much to tell our little man goodbye so soon, our first son is experiencing what we have only to look forward to.
Psalm 46:1- "God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble, therefore we will not fear..."
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
In Acts 20:17-35 Paul speaks to his church in Ephesus of the blood and tears that have wrought the ministry of Jesus Christ. He says, "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."
I am realizing that to be a "comfortable Christian" is not what God is asking of Danny and me. He is asking that we literally take up Christ's cross and follow a road that for our Lord was filled with anguish and pain--suffering leading up to glory. The cross of Christ is not a light thing to carry, as I'm slowly beginning to realize. I've been asked to give my first son back to Christ's arms before I've been able to have much time with him on earth--this is part of the road of suffering (to glory) that Danny and I have been asked to walk.
I can't say that I've willingly followed this path. What I can say, though, is that God has given me the strength to follow it along with a greater faith and trust in Him than I ever imagined possible. As my dear mom likes to put it: faith is not a blind leap in the dark but rather it is seeing no path before us and yet still believing that when we take a step, God will put something there to catch us from falling. I'm beginning to be able to take that step with trust instead of doubt.
I am realizing that to be a "comfortable Christian" is not what God is asking of Danny and me. He is asking that we literally take up Christ's cross and follow a road that for our Lord was filled with anguish and pain--suffering leading up to glory. The cross of Christ is not a light thing to carry, as I'm slowly beginning to realize. I've been asked to give my first son back to Christ's arms before I've been able to have much time with him on earth--this is part of the road of suffering (to glory) that Danny and I have been asked to walk.
I can't say that I've willingly followed this path. What I can say, though, is that God has given me the strength to follow it along with a greater faith and trust in Him than I ever imagined possible. As my dear mom likes to put it: faith is not a blind leap in the dark but rather it is seeing no path before us and yet still believing that when we take a step, God will put something there to catch us from falling. I'm beginning to be able to take that step with trust instead of doubt.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Over the past couple of weeks since our little man went to see Jesus, Danny and I have been showered with love, prayers, and encouragement through cards and books in the mail. It's been such a blessing to be able to open up our mail at the end of the day and read such words of comfort from those who are constantly praying for us. How amazing is the body of Christ!! Last night, we received a card from Caroline "Sanders" Cone. The card contained the words to a song by Twila Paris...words that are so beautiful and fitting to what we've gone through with little Jace. I don't think I've yet read anything that so closely matches what Danny and I are feeling as the words to this song does...I cried and cried after reading them!
A visitor from Heaven
If only for a while
A gift of love to be returned
We think of you and smile.
A visitor from Heaven,
Accompanied by grace,
Reminding of a better love
And of a better place.
With aching hearts and empty arms
We send you with a name.
It hurts so much to let you go,
But we're so glad you came.
We're so glad you came.
A visitor from Heaven,
If only for a day.
We thank Him for the time He gave,
And now it's time to say
We trust you to the Father's love
And to His tender care.
Held in the everlasting arms,
And we're so glad you're there.
We're so glad you're there.
With breaking hearts and open hands
We send you with a name.
It hurts so much to let you go,
But we're so glad you came,
We're so glad you came.
A visitor from Heaven
If only for a while
A gift of love to be returned
We think of you and smile.
A visitor from Heaven,
Accompanied by grace,
Reminding of a better love
And of a better place.
With aching hearts and empty arms
We send you with a name.
It hurts so much to let you go,
But we're so glad you came.
We're so glad you came.
A visitor from Heaven,
If only for a day.
We thank Him for the time He gave,
And now it's time to say
We trust you to the Father's love
And to His tender care.
Held in the everlasting arms,
And we're so glad you're there.
We're so glad you're there.
With breaking hearts and open hands
We send you with a name.
It hurts so much to let you go,
But we're so glad you came,
We're so glad you came.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Here are some excerpts from our little Jace's funeral service. I have posted the words to the song I sang as well as the words Danny spoke about his son.
"Praise You In This Storm"- Casting Crowns
I was sure by now God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining.
As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper
Through the rain "I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you and you raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You?
But as the thunder rolls I barely hear You
Whisper through the rain "I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away.
I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
That song that Lauren just got done singing definitely applies to the season that we have been in with Jace. It has been a really hard season but a season in which God’s goodness has been magnified. God has used all of you to bless us immensely. Thank you for praying, for cooking meals, for giving money, and for speaking words of encouragement to us. God has been so good to us in regards to financial contributions so much so that we actually have more money in our bank accounts today than we did before Jace was born. God is always faithful to provide. It has been amazing to be at the receiving end of such an outpouring of love.
I wanted to invite y’all into my family’s life by sharing some of my memories of Jace. In one respect, Jace was very much like me. He was so fascinated with Lauren’s hair to the point that he would just lie in her arms staring as Lauren would periodically shake her head back and forth to entertain Jace with her swishing hair. I too love staring at Lauren and especially take notice of her hair.
Jace was also a bit of a squirmer. At times he would disappear from his bed or so we thought. Because we needed to keep him elevated with his constant feeding and issues with reflux, we kept Jace slightly propped up when he slept. Due to the elevation and his constant movement, sometimes he would slide down in his bed to the point where he was scrunched up, totally covered by his blanket. When this happened, he would vocalize his discontent with the cutest cry you’ve ever heard. I’m sorry to say that I cannot reproduce such a cry thus am not able to convince y’all of the extent of its cuteness.
Jace loved to lie on his momma’s chest. If you were able to visit him at the hospital, you would most likely find him with his head resting over Lauren’s heart. The downside to Jace’s preference was that Lauren often needed to visit the restroom. So I would have to fill in for mom until she got back from the bathroom. Jace did not like this periodic switch and would often cry until mom returned. Most often I would encourage Lauren to hold Jace because I wanted him to be comfortable. Thankfully, he eventually warmed up to me or more accurately I began to cater to how he liked to be held.
One final memory centers on Jace’s eyes. Right after Jace was born, the first thing that I noticed was his eyes mainly because they were wide open. In fact, Jace’s eyes were the last thing I noticed minutes before he died. Lauren and I often wondered what color Jace’s eyes would be. It appeared as though his eyes were tending towards a lighter shade of blue or green, but it was clear that he was a brown-eyed boy like his Daddy when I looked him in the eye as he was taking his final breaths.
God not only sustained Jace through this season but he sustained Lauren and me as well. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that God’s “grace is sufficient for [us], for [His] power is made perfect in weakness.” Jace’s weakness was apparent in his broken body while Lauren and I felt weak because we had minimal control over our son’s situation. We could not have weathered this storm without God’s help, and it’s God who will see us through the mourning process. It’s been a blessing as well to see how God has used all of you to bear this burden with us.
Thank y’all again for being here. I know that funerals can be hard because you don’t know what to say to us but know that just being here to support us is a blessing. Now I would like to speak a blessing over y’all that I often prayed over Jace: “The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace” (Numbers 6:24-26).
There is one more story I want to tell y’all. One book was highly instrumental in helping us through our hard journey with Jace. This book is called The Hiding Place. In the program, there is an excerpt from Lauren’s blog that talks about the influence reading that book had on us. We have some copies of the book out in the foyer that we would love for y’all to take, but the story about the buying of these books is really cool. Lauren’s parents happened to stop by Half Priced Books to see how many copies of the book they could get. As they were looking through the books, they came across one book that actually had Jace’s name written on it. It’s amazing how God works in our lives. That Lauren’s parents would stop at that particular book store and find that particular book is something only God could orchestrate.
These are the words I briefly added to what Danny spoke at the service:
Danny and I often prayed that God would heal Jace. We know that at last He has. Our little man is now in the arms of Jesus, and although it’s hard not to have him in our arms, we know that he’s in better hands now. Heaven only seems that much closer knowing that our little boy is there. One day, we’ll see our Jace again.
We miss you so much, little Jace. Our home is very empty without you, but we know you are happier where you are now. Know that your Mommy and Daddy will always love you. Goodbye sweet boy...for now, but not forever.
"Praise You In This Storm"- Casting Crowns
I was sure by now God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining.
As the thunder rolls I barely hear Your whisper
Through the rain "I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise You in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am.
And every tear I've cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you and you raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find You?
But as the thunder rolls I barely hear You
Whisper through the rain "I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away.
I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
That song that Lauren just got done singing definitely applies to the season that we have been in with Jace. It has been a really hard season but a season in which God’s goodness has been magnified. God has used all of you to bless us immensely. Thank you for praying, for cooking meals, for giving money, and for speaking words of encouragement to us. God has been so good to us in regards to financial contributions so much so that we actually have more money in our bank accounts today than we did before Jace was born. God is always faithful to provide. It has been amazing to be at the receiving end of such an outpouring of love.
I wanted to invite y’all into my family’s life by sharing some of my memories of Jace. In one respect, Jace was very much like me. He was so fascinated with Lauren’s hair to the point that he would just lie in her arms staring as Lauren would periodically shake her head back and forth to entertain Jace with her swishing hair. I too love staring at Lauren and especially take notice of her hair.
Jace was also a bit of a squirmer. At times he would disappear from his bed or so we thought. Because we needed to keep him elevated with his constant feeding and issues with reflux, we kept Jace slightly propped up when he slept. Due to the elevation and his constant movement, sometimes he would slide down in his bed to the point where he was scrunched up, totally covered by his blanket. When this happened, he would vocalize his discontent with the cutest cry you’ve ever heard. I’m sorry to say that I cannot reproduce such a cry thus am not able to convince y’all of the extent of its cuteness.
Jace loved to lie on his momma’s chest. If you were able to visit him at the hospital, you would most likely find him with his head resting over Lauren’s heart. The downside to Jace’s preference was that Lauren often needed to visit the restroom. So I would have to fill in for mom until she got back from the bathroom. Jace did not like this periodic switch and would often cry until mom returned. Most often I would encourage Lauren to hold Jace because I wanted him to be comfortable. Thankfully, he eventually warmed up to me or more accurately I began to cater to how he liked to be held.
One final memory centers on Jace’s eyes. Right after Jace was born, the first thing that I noticed was his eyes mainly because they were wide open. In fact, Jace’s eyes were the last thing I noticed minutes before he died. Lauren and I often wondered what color Jace’s eyes would be. It appeared as though his eyes were tending towards a lighter shade of blue or green, but it was clear that he was a brown-eyed boy like his Daddy when I looked him in the eye as he was taking his final breaths.
God not only sustained Jace through this season but he sustained Lauren and me as well. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that God’s “grace is sufficient for [us], for [His] power is made perfect in weakness.” Jace’s weakness was apparent in his broken body while Lauren and I felt weak because we had minimal control over our son’s situation. We could not have weathered this storm without God’s help, and it’s God who will see us through the mourning process. It’s been a blessing as well to see how God has used all of you to bear this burden with us.
Thank y’all again for being here. I know that funerals can be hard because you don’t know what to say to us but know that just being here to support us is a blessing. Now I would like to speak a blessing over y’all that I often prayed over Jace: “The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace” (Numbers 6:24-26).
There is one more story I want to tell y’all. One book was highly instrumental in helping us through our hard journey with Jace. This book is called The Hiding Place. In the program, there is an excerpt from Lauren’s blog that talks about the influence reading that book had on us. We have some copies of the book out in the foyer that we would love for y’all to take, but the story about the buying of these books is really cool. Lauren’s parents happened to stop by Half Priced Books to see how many copies of the book they could get. As they were looking through the books, they came across one book that actually had Jace’s name written on it. It’s amazing how God works in our lives. That Lauren’s parents would stop at that particular book store and find that particular book is something only God could orchestrate.
These are the words I briefly added to what Danny spoke at the service:
Danny and I often prayed that God would heal Jace. We know that at last He has. Our little man is now in the arms of Jesus, and although it’s hard not to have him in our arms, we know that he’s in better hands now. Heaven only seems that much closer knowing that our little boy is there. One day, we’ll see our Jace again.
We miss you so much, little Jace. Our home is very empty without you, but we know you are happier where you are now. Know that your Mommy and Daddy will always love you. Goodbye sweet boy...for now, but not forever.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
One week ago, June 14th, Danny and I laid our little Jace in the arms of Jesus. As suddenly as our little man appeared into our lives, he just as suddenly slipped peacefully into heaven. Although there are still so many unanswered questions going around in my mind as to why Jace had to leave us so quickly, I know one thing is for certain. My prayer for our Jacer has finally been answered: he is healed. The memories are still too fresh and the ache for my son is still too sharp for me to really be able to share everything about these last several weeks. Soon, I will be able to write more here.
Danny and I wake up every morning under the knowledge that although we won't ever see our son again here on earth, we are promised a reunion in heaven. And what a joyful reunion that will be. One day. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for giving us some time with Jace, even if to us it seemed so short. Thank You for holding our little son now in Your arms and for giving him what we could not: a whole and perfect body.
Danny and I wake up every morning under the knowledge that although we won't ever see our son again here on earth, we are promised a reunion in heaven. And what a joyful reunion that will be. One day. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for giving us some time with Jace, even if to us it seemed so short. Thank You for holding our little son now in Your arms and for giving him what we could not: a whole and perfect body.
Monday, June 9, 2008
"You are my hiding place and my shield;
I hope in Your Word.
Depart from me, you evildoers,
that I may keep the commandments
of my God.
Uphold me according to Your promise,
that I may live,
and let me not be put to shame in my hope!"
Psalm 119:113-118
Not long ago, Danny and I finished reading the powerful book The Hiding Place written by Corrie Ten Boom--Corrie's personal account of being thrust from the life of a simple Dutch watch-maker into the nightmarish existence of a Concentration Camp in central Germany. "You are my hiding place and my shield" was a verse often referenced in this book describing the life of powerful people of faith looking to the strength of Christ to get them through the most horrendous circumstances. This book not only challenged Danny and I in our walk of faith, but it also offered comfort as we go through the most difficult thing we've yet been through in life. I'm going to use this blog space to share a few thoughts from the book that changed our perspective on how we not only view our own lives, but also the life of our little precious Jace.
One of the hardest things that Danny and I have had to come to grips with over the past three months is the idea of death. Death is probably one of the most feared events, simply because it is inevitable and it is something that we cannot understand. Losing a loved one has long been a fear of mine, and being faced with the possibility of losing a son has often been impossible for me to grasp or deal with. The Hiding Place describes times when death was not only eminent, it was a daily aspect of life for the people in the story. At one point, Corrie tells her dad that she wouldn't be able to bear it if he died, and her dad responds with one of the wisest statements I have yet heard in regards to death. "...our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things too," Corrie's father states, "Don't run ahead of Him Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time." Danny and I have come to the realization that no matter when our Lord chooses to take Jace into His arms, we will have the strength at that moment to let him go.
Personally, I've struggled recently to be content with the circumstances I find myself in. Sometimes I look at Jace and I wish desperately that he were well, that things were normal. I've realized that in wishing this I'm basing happiness or contentment on what's going on around me or how comfortable I feel. In the Hiding Place, Corrie's mom makes a statement that I constantly carry with me: "Happiness isn't something that depends on our surroundings, Corrie. It's something we make inside ourselves" (37). I am often reminded of Paul's statement in Philippians 4:11-13--"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned that in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." In other words, Christ can give us the strength to have contentment no matter what circumstance or situation we are in.
There are so many wonderful quotes in this book, that it would take me weeks to sit down and write about my thoughts on each one of them. Instead, I will simply write the quotes down for you to read and work your mind over. My hope is that these quotes bless and teach you as much as they blessed and taught Danny and I.
"But if God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know--to tell us that this too is in His hands" (63).
"There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety--O Corrie, let us pray that we may always know it" (67)!
"Love. How did one show it? How could God Himself show truth and love at the same time in a world like this? By dying. The answer stood out for me sharper and chiller than it ever had before that night: the shape of a Cross etched on the history of the world" (88).
"It grew harder and harder. Even within these four walls there was too much misery, too much seemingly pointless suffering. Every day something else failed to make sense, something else grew too heavy. 'Will You carry this too, Lord Jesus?' But as the rest of the world grew stranger, one thing became increasingly clear. And that was the reason the two of us were here. Why others should suffer we were not shown. As for us, from morning until lights-out, whenever we were not in ranks for roll call, our Bible was the center of an ever-widening circle of help and hope. Like waifs clustered around a blazing fire, we gathered about it, holding out our hearts to its warmth and life. The blacker the night around us grew, the brighter and truer and more beautiful burned the word of God. 'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.'...Life in Ravensbruck took place on two separate levels, mutually impossible. One, the observable, external life, grew every day more horrible. The other, the life we lived with God, grew daily better, truth upon truth, glory upon glory" (177-178).
"...when we've lost a friend, when a dream has failed, when we seem to have nothing left in the world to make life beautiful--that's when God says: You're richer than you think" (221).
One of the hardest things that Danny and I have had to come to grips with over the past three months is the idea of death. Death is probably one of the most feared events, simply because it is inevitable and it is something that we cannot understand. Losing a loved one has long been a fear of mine, and being faced with the possibility of losing a son has often been impossible for me to grasp or deal with. The Hiding Place describes times when death was not only eminent, it was a daily aspect of life for the people in the story. At one point, Corrie tells her dad that she wouldn't be able to bear it if he died, and her dad responds with one of the wisest statements I have yet heard in regards to death. "...our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things too," Corrie's father states, "Don't run ahead of Him Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time." Danny and I have come to the realization that no matter when our Lord chooses to take Jace into His arms, we will have the strength at that moment to let him go.
Personally, I've struggled recently to be content with the circumstances I find myself in. Sometimes I look at Jace and I wish desperately that he were well, that things were normal. I've realized that in wishing this I'm basing happiness or contentment on what's going on around me or how comfortable I feel. In the Hiding Place, Corrie's mom makes a statement that I constantly carry with me: "Happiness isn't something that depends on our surroundings, Corrie. It's something we make inside ourselves" (37). I am often reminded of Paul's statement in Philippians 4:11-13--"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned that in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." In other words, Christ can give us the strength to have contentment no matter what circumstance or situation we are in.
There are so many wonderful quotes in this book, that it would take me weeks to sit down and write about my thoughts on each one of them. Instead, I will simply write the quotes down for you to read and work your mind over. My hope is that these quotes bless and teach you as much as they blessed and taught Danny and I.
"But if God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know--to tell us that this too is in His hands" (63).
"There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety--O Corrie, let us pray that we may always know it" (67)!
"Love. How did one show it? How could God Himself show truth and love at the same time in a world like this? By dying. The answer stood out for me sharper and chiller than it ever had before that night: the shape of a Cross etched on the history of the world" (88).
"It grew harder and harder. Even within these four walls there was too much misery, too much seemingly pointless suffering. Every day something else failed to make sense, something else grew too heavy. 'Will You carry this too, Lord Jesus?' But as the rest of the world grew stranger, one thing became increasingly clear. And that was the reason the two of us were here. Why others should suffer we were not shown. As for us, from morning until lights-out, whenever we were not in ranks for roll call, our Bible was the center of an ever-widening circle of help and hope. Like waifs clustered around a blazing fire, we gathered about it, holding out our hearts to its warmth and life. The blacker the night around us grew, the brighter and truer and more beautiful burned the word of God. 'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.'...Life in Ravensbruck took place on two separate levels, mutually impossible. One, the observable, external life, grew every day more horrible. The other, the life we lived with God, grew daily better, truth upon truth, glory upon glory" (177-178).
"...when we've lost a friend, when a dream has failed, when we seem to have nothing left in the world to make life beautiful--that's when God says: You're richer than you think" (221).
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Today has been more than just a little bit of sunshine, it's been one of the best days I can remember since little Jace was born. Not only did we receive encouraging news from the Cardiologist about Jace's heart, but our little man has continually amazed his mama today.
The cardiologist, in going back through Jace's echocardiograms done on May 23rd, informed us that while his VSD is still fairly large, it's not as big as previously thought. In addition, the VSD is located higher between the ventricles, across a membrane, giving more of a chance to the hole to close up on its own, which would be the greatest miracle I've ever seen God perform in my life, that's for sure.
Jace never ceases to amaze me. I'm realizing the joys of being a mom who is blessed to be able to stay home with her child. Each new day I discover new little habits, facial expressions, and personality. Today I've received at least three tiny smiles, a record so far. I've discovered that little man likes the camera and the video recorder: the past couple of days he's been looking straight at me when I'm recording or taking a picture, which of course has allowed me to get little faces that I'll be able to cherish forever.
No matter what tomorrow brings, I think I can safely say I am content with today and its constant blessings. I wouldn't trade a thousand tomorrows for a beautiful today.
The cardiologist, in going back through Jace's echocardiograms done on May 23rd, informed us that while his VSD is still fairly large, it's not as big as previously thought. In addition, the VSD is located higher between the ventricles, across a membrane, giving more of a chance to the hole to close up on its own, which would be the greatest miracle I've ever seen God perform in my life, that's for sure.
Jace never ceases to amaze me. I'm realizing the joys of being a mom who is blessed to be able to stay home with her child. Each new day I discover new little habits, facial expressions, and personality. Today I've received at least three tiny smiles, a record so far. I've discovered that little man likes the camera and the video recorder: the past couple of days he's been looking straight at me when I'm recording or taking a picture, which of course has allowed me to get little faces that I'll be able to cherish forever.
No matter what tomorrow brings, I think I can safely say I am content with today and its constant blessings. I wouldn't trade a thousand tomorrows for a beautiful today.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Jace Garrett Steinhaus arrived on March 20th, 2008, at 9:36am. He weighed a whopping 4lbs, 1oz and was whisked immediately away after birth to the neo region of St. Luke's Labor and Delivery. I remember seeing him seconds after his birth, with wide open eyes, even though he couldn't cry because he wasn't breathing. The neo team intubated little Jace, assessed him, and then after about 45 minutes wheeled him in to my room in an isolation box so that Danny and I could see our son before he was taken over to Texas Childrens. Our journey with Jace, which had already seemed so long and uncertain, had only just begun.
During the next 24hrs, Danny and I were bombarded with a list of the problems doctors found with our son. Along with other things, xrays indicated that Jace was probably missing the middle part of his brain, and that his esophagus was malformed and attached to his lung, which of course would inhibit any type of feeding. An ultrasound of Jace's heart revealed that he had a large hole between his two Ventricles, causing extra blood to flow to his lungs instead of to the lower part of his body. On top of all this, Danny and I were further informed that genetic studies of our son indicated that he had a genetic disorder called Trisomy 18, a disorder which occurs randomly during meiosis like Down Syndrome, but which is considered lethal because of the extreme problems these babies are born with. Basically, it's a miracle little Jace ever made it to birth. The larger portion of babies with Trisomy 18 don't make it through the entire gestational period, and those who do have very short predicted life-spans.
Needless to say, this news was extremely hard for both Danny and I to hear. Over the next several weeks with Jace, we took him off of the respirator and decided to put him through surgery to fix his esophagus and put in a g-tube into the stomach for feeding. After over five weeks in Texas Childrens, Danny and I finally got to bring Jace home last Friday.
It's been a wonderful week with our son at home. Although Jace is still feeding into his g-tube, and he still has a hole in his heart, he looks and acts like a normal baby except for his abnormally small size. The doctors still predict a grim and short future for our son, but Danny and I are holding onto Christ. Nobody can predict how long or how short our lives are. Knowing that our son has a potentially lethal genetic disorder has driven Danny and I to realize the meaning of living each day as though it were our last day. We are enjoying Jace today...not knowing about and trying not to worry about tomorrow.
Keep our little son in your prayers! He is a miracle...and he reminds us every day of God's grace. Children are truly a blessing, and we wouldn't trade our little Jace Garrett for anything. :)
Looking to Jesus ~
During the next 24hrs, Danny and I were bombarded with a list of the problems doctors found with our son. Along with other things, xrays indicated that Jace was probably missing the middle part of his brain, and that his esophagus was malformed and attached to his lung, which of course would inhibit any type of feeding. An ultrasound of Jace's heart revealed that he had a large hole between his two Ventricles, causing extra blood to flow to his lungs instead of to the lower part of his body. On top of all this, Danny and I were further informed that genetic studies of our son indicated that he had a genetic disorder called Trisomy 18, a disorder which occurs randomly during meiosis like Down Syndrome, but which is considered lethal because of the extreme problems these babies are born with. Basically, it's a miracle little Jace ever made it to birth. The larger portion of babies with Trisomy 18 don't make it through the entire gestational period, and those who do have very short predicted life-spans.
Needless to say, this news was extremely hard for both Danny and I to hear. Over the next several weeks with Jace, we took him off of the respirator and decided to put him through surgery to fix his esophagus and put in a g-tube into the stomach for feeding. After over five weeks in Texas Childrens, Danny and I finally got to bring Jace home last Friday.
It's been a wonderful week with our son at home. Although Jace is still feeding into his g-tube, and he still has a hole in his heart, he looks and acts like a normal baby except for his abnormally small size. The doctors still predict a grim and short future for our son, but Danny and I are holding onto Christ. Nobody can predict how long or how short our lives are. Knowing that our son has a potentially lethal genetic disorder has driven Danny and I to realize the meaning of living each day as though it were our last day. We are enjoying Jace today...not knowing about and trying not to worry about tomorrow.
Keep our little son in your prayers! He is a miracle...and he reminds us every day of God's grace. Children are truly a blessing, and we wouldn't trade our little Jace Garrett for anything. :)
Looking to Jesus ~
“I searched for love when the night came and it closed in.
I was alone, but you found me where I was hiding.
Now I’ll never ever be the same.
It was the sweetest voice that called my name, saying
‘You’re not alone for I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love I’ve never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I’m the one who’s loved you all your life
All your life.’
You cry yourself to sleep,
‘cause your hurt is real and the pain cuts deep.
All hope seems lost,
With heartache your closest friend and everyone else long gone.
You’ve had to face the music on your own
But here is a sweeter song that calls you home.
‘You’re not alone for I am here
Let me wipe away your every fear
My love I’ve never left your side
I have seen you through the darkest night
And I’m the one who’s loved you all your life
All your life.’
Faithful and true forever
My love will carry you.”
~Meredith Andrews- You’re Not Alone
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)