In Acts 20:17-35 Paul speaks to his church in Ephesus of the blood and tears that have wrought the ministry of Jesus Christ. He says, "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

I am realizing that to be a "comfortable Christian" is not what God is asking of Danny and me. He is asking that we literally take up Christ's cross and follow a road that for our Lord was filled with anguish and pain--suffering leading up to glory. The cross of Christ is not a light thing to carry, as I'm slowly beginning to realize. I've been asked to give my first son back to Christ's arms before I've been able to have much time with him on earth--this is part of the road of suffering (to glory) that Danny and I have been asked to walk.

I can't say that I've willingly followed this path. What I can say, though, is that God has given me the strength to follow it along with a greater faith and trust in Him than I ever imagined possible. As my dear mom likes to put it: faith is not a blind leap in the dark but rather it is seeing no path before us and yet still believing that when we take a step, God will put something there to catch us from falling. I'm beginning to be able to take that step with trust instead of doubt.